August 31, 2025
If you want to experience a wide array of personal opinion and hear some emotionally charged testimony just bring up the subject of marriage. There are as many views on marriage as there are people who have thought about it. Ask five people and you will likely hear everything from marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me all the way to marriage was the biggest mistake of my life. It begs the question, does it have to be that way? Further, does anybody know what makes a good marriage and even more difficult, does anyone know how to have a good marriage? What accounts for all the diversity anyway?
There are answers available but like any truth sometimes it’s not easy to hear and even when it is it’s not always easy to implement. For example everyone knows that our body weight is controlled by a simple bit of math. If we consume more calories than we burn we will gain weight. Conversely if we burn more calories than we consume we will lose weight. What a simple and widely accepted truth. Yet millions of people struggle with weight every day. This example will help us get to a more important point. There is no doubt that our bodies were designed to get energy and building materials for life from the food we eat. However, like anything we have a choice about whether or not we use it as it’s designed to be used. Who hasn’t pried something open with a butter knife? This using things in ways they weren’t designed for that gets us in trouble. When we use too much food for pleasure and fulfilment we get in trouble.
The same principle can be applied to relationships. We as humans are a social animals. God designed us that way. However, we sometimes abuse our social capacity in ways that diminishes or even ruins what God made for good. Pedophiles, Narcissists, Cult leaders, Sex addicts, kidnapers, rapists, all pervert the social part of humanity into something negative. Even highly manipulative sales people, or bullies are going beyond God’s design for healthy social interaction. Other examples could be given but the point is that we can make a choice to take something good and abuse it or misuse it until it becomes bad and harmful. This is actually the basis for almost all the things that the Bible calls sin.
When we apply this principle to our marriage relationship we realize that we must apply Godly standards to our closest relationship. This starts with Genesis 2:24 one man one woman for life. Of course there are many other important principles. The question is will we live by Gods standards trusting that he knows best or will we try to go our own way?
~ Kevin Cleary