August 13, 2023

(from a presentation by Jeremiah Tatum

How do you forgive when you have been hurt so deeply by someone you love so deeply? Why is forgiveness so hard? We often hear forgive and forget but its easier said than done.

1. Forgiveness is hard because forgetting is impossible. I know we’ve heard and been told to “forgive and forget.” I have counselled with Christian people who have said hatefully, “I will forgive them but I will never forget what they’ve done!” I have walked away knowing that there was no forgiveness there. But can we really forget? No. Will we forget? Impossible. But will we learn some things about trust? Yes. Will we learn some things about healthy boundaries? Yes. Will we lean on God more knowing that He alone will never leave us or forsake us? Yes. God wants us to remember so we can learn lessons and thank Him for His steadfastness.

2. Forgiveness is hard because trust is difficult to regain. If you have been lied to, if you have been betrayed, if you have been slandered, or if your loved one has cheated on you, there is a wound that has been created that goes all the way through. This wound rarely heals completely. Whenever a familiar moment arises that reminds you of the time trust was broken, the surface that has healed above that wound is removed and you begin to bleed again. Human beings have a hard time trusting because we tend to over-emphasize our own personal feelings. We categorize and compartmentalize faithfulness. We forget that we are not always trustworthy in all things. We decide that if our loved one has broken trust in an area that we feel is more significant, they can never truly be trusted again.

3. Forgiveness is hard because it is natural for us to try to protect ourselves. We build physical walls to protect our families, mental walls to protect our intellect, emotional walls to protect our hearts, and even spiritual walls to protect our individuality. Anytime a fortress has been penetrated we are prone to pack up and leave an area that was once safe, never to return. If you have been hurt bad enough even one time, you would rather experience anything than to be hurt in that same place all over again. We don’t want to be fools, so when we have been badly injured we wrap up and find a cave. There is no forgiveness for the one who has inflicted the pain when we are too busy sulking and licking our wounds.

4. Forgiveness is hard because everything is amplified when it is our loved ones who have been hurt. We would much rather be hurt ourselves than to have it be our spouse or children. Especially in cases where the sin was egregious and unnecessary and cast upon the innocent – we find ourselves seeking retribution and justice. We suppose that if we could see the guilty party suffer for what they have done at least we would have something to hold on to over which we had some control. It is hard to forgive when you are reeling. It is hard to forgive when you see the pain in the face of your pierced and yet sinless child.

We can’t forget, but God has promised He will forget our sins. We can’t trust, but God has forgiven us enough to trust us with the precious gospel and adopt us into His family. We can’t be vulnerable, and yet God has opened the gates of His eternal abode and invited us into His most intimate dwelling place forever. We can’t overcome the suffering of our loved ones, and yet God has forgiven us for crucifying His only Son.

Forgiveness is hard for one simple reason. We make it about us! God forgives so freely and perfectly because for Him forgiveness is about others. This is the love of God. When we deserved punishment, He chose mercy. When we deserved banishment, He chose fellowship. When we deserved nothing, He chose to give us everything. When we did what was unforgivable, He chose to forgive.

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” – 1 John 4:10

 

August 6, 202

What if someone discovered a document that held the secret to eternal life? Not only that, but it could tell you how to live forever in the best way possible for you and everyone around you. Would you want a copy? Imagine then they held a press conference in which they revealed a few titbits of their find then closed the interview by saying anyone who wants a copy can have it for $50,000. Would you start saving? Would you sell your possessions? Would you take a second Job? What would you give for this wonderful secret?

     In the days of the reformation this situation was not imaginary. There is after all a document that can indeed reveal how to live eternally in peace security and comfort. It can tell you how to navigate this life in such a way as to do the most good. This document ultimately tells you how to have a relationship with the most powerful being in existence. 

     You have probably guessed that I am talking about the Bible. In scripture we have the one and only God creator of everything we see around us, speaking to us. This revelation was not always as easy to come by as it is today. During the time that men like Wycliffe and Tyndale were giving us the first English translations, a bible really did cost about the equivalent of a year’s salary.  These early translators believed that everyone should have a copy and many paid with their lives to make their belief a reality. 

     Over five hundred years later their dream is more than realized as the Bible is easily available and sells millions of copies per year at far less than a year’s salary. For those of us who live in a time when the most important document in existence is so easily available has its low cost been misunderstood to mean low value. 

     We need to remember just what the Bible is and what it means to have a book from God. The inspired poet has done a great job expressing just how valuable the word of God is.

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! 

Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. 

 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. 

I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to keep your righteous rules. 

I am severely afflicted; give me life, O LORD, according to your word!

How blessed we are to have a word from the Lord, may we never forget it.

~ Kevin Cleary

 

July 30, 202

Last week we began thinking about what impact people’s life circumstances have one their current beliefs and practices. We noted that many have argued that we are who we are because of where we are born and what community we come from. Last week we noted many examples of people who changed despite their circumstances. This week I want to add a further point which is God’s revelation and expectation.

     God has spoken. Repeatedly in scripture God has revealed his will to men and expected them to understand it and respond. The most drastic example may be in the days of Noah. The only way people could escape destruction was to believe that the world was going to flood and be on board the ark. This had never happened before people would have no previous experience to demonstrate the truth of Noah’s claim except that God said it. The Old Testament is filled with examples like this. However the greatest example in scripture is no doubt Jesus. He came to earth challenging everything people thought. Some of his harshest criticism was for those who would not abandon their long held and well established religious convictions.

     God has not stopped speaking. People today are no different than they have ever been. Does God expect people to trust him and obey him today? How can someone who was raised thinking that salvation is by faith alone draw any other conclusion? How can someone who has worshiped for years with an instrument know any better? How can religious people who sincerely think they are doing right be condemned for making a mistake. Jesus himself explained that on the day of judgement many would say “Lord Lord we did all these things in your name” but would be sent away as unknown to Him. He goes on to point out that it’s not saying “Lord Lord” but doing the will of the father that identifies you as one of His. Should we expect people to accept what God has revealed and act on it before considering them Christians? God does, our place is only to recognize what God has said and communicate it. 

     I know this is not politically correct or even very popular. God does not call me to be popular he calls me to trust Him, to lean on Him and to take him at his word even if no one likes it. I vow to seek His face with all of my being, to accept His will and obey it whatever that means. Because I know he created me with the ability to understand truth and live it even if my circumstances would lead me another way. He calls all mankind to do the same.

~ Kevin Cleary

 

July 23, 202

     Everyone has a past, everyone has some collected experience and beliefs which inform their views of the world. It has become a popular notion in our time that people’s beliefs and behaviours are determined by their past. I recently heard someone say they were probably only a Christian because they were born to a Christian family in North America. He went on to conclude that he could not condemn someone born in Saudi Arabia for being a Muslim and God couldn’t either. 

     Closer to home those among churches of Christ have sometimes been heard to say “it’s because you are a member of a church of Christ that you believe as you do.” If you were from some other background you would believe that only mental assent was necessary for salvation. You would have no problem worshiping with an instrument. You would not take an issue with women in leadership. And you would only take the Lord Table a couple of times per year. 

     As I thought about this statement the first thing I did was recognize that there is some truth to it. We are affected by our circumstances. However the more I thought about it the more I realized there is more to the discussion. First can people do better than their circumstances would allow? Certainly they can and in some cases must. An abuse victim is expected to know and act better than to abuse someone else. In fact our society punishes them if they don’t. A student is expected to finish high school even if his or her parents didn’t. We consider it a bad thing that welfare recipients often come from families who were welfare recipients. And beyond my simple thoughts on the subject there is also evidence that people can and should move beyond their circumstances.

     Many people have been able to move past their past, Lots of people in my generation will tell you that they are the first in their family to graduate from university. They did this despite the fact that their parents and grandparents didn’t and in some cases didn’t place much value on doing so. Considering past history reveals numerous examples of those who defied their circumstances. Martin Luther was a Catholic through and through but changed when he began reading his Bible. He went so far as to nail 95 points of debate to the door of the Castle church in Wittenberg Germany. Abner Jones was a member of the free will Baptist church but became convinced that sectarian names and human creeds should be abandoned and that piety alone should be the test of Christian fellowship. Thomas Campbell was a Seceder Presbyterian until becoming convinced that their sectarian attitude was unchristian. Michael Behe was a convinced atheist until his close study of the human cell showed that it could not have evolved. My own grandmother was a committed member of the brethren in Christ denomination. After being challenged on some beliefs she read her New Testament in a day. The next day she was ready to be baptized into the Lords Church. All of these people and many others could be mentioned to demonstrate that people can and should base their beliefs on closely considered truth rather than on the dominant beliefs of their past.

~ Kevin Cleary

 

July 16, 2023

On a dangerous seacoast where shipwrecks often occur, there was once a little life-saving station. The building was primitive, and there was just one boat, but the members of the life-saving station were committed and kept a constant watch over the sea. When a ship went down, they unselfishly went out day or night to save the lost. Because so many lives were saved by that station, it became famous.

Consequently, many people wanted to be associated with the station to give their time, talent, and money to support its important work. New boats were bought, new crews were recruited, a formal training session was offered. As the membership in the life-saving station grew, some of the members became unhappy that the building was so primitive and that the equipment was so outdated. They wanted a better place to welcome the survivors pulled from the sea. So they replaced the emergency cots with beds and put better furniture in the enlarged and newly decorated building.

Now the life-saving station became a popular gathering place for its members. They met regularly and when they did, it was apparent how they loved one another. They greeted each other, hugged each other, and shared with one another the events that had been going on in their lives. But fewer members were now interested in going to sea on life-saving missions; so they hired lifeboat crews to do this for them.

About this time, a large ship was wrecked off of the coast, and the hired crews brought into the life-saving station boatloads of cold, wet, dirty, sick, and half-drowned people. Some of them had black skin, and some had yellow skin. Some could speak English well, and some could hardly speak it at all. Some were first-class cabin passengers of the ship, and some were the deck hands.

The beautiful meeting place became a place of chaos. The plush carpets got dirty. Some of the exquisite furniture got scratched. So the property committee immediately had a shower built outside the house where the victims of shipwreck could be cleaned up before coming inside.

At the next meeting there was rift in the membership. Most of the members wanted to stop the club’s life-saving activities, for they were unpleasant and a hindrance to the normal fellowship of the members. Other members insisted that life-saving was their primary purpose and pointed out that they were still called a life-saving station. But they were finally voted down and told that if they wanted to save the lives of all those various kinds of people who would be shipwrecked, they could begin their own life-saving station down the coast. And do you know what? That is what they did.

As the years passed, the new station experienced the same changes that had occurred in the old. It evolved into a place to meet regularly for fellowship, for committee meetings, and for special training sessions about their mission, but few went out to the drowning people. The drowning people were no longer welcomed in that new life-saving station. So another life-saving station was founded further down the coast. History continued to repeat itself. And if you visit that seacoast today, you will find a number of adequate meeting places with ample parking and plush carpeting.  Shipwrecks are frequent in those waters, but most of the people drown.

Thomas Wedel

~ Kevin Cleary